I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
