when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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