The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
