Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
