just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
