Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
