we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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