Don't you send me to vm
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
