New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
