People in love make me want to vomit
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
