i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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