Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
