if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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