I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
