I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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