Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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