Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
