david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
