Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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