Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
