I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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