I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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