We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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