You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
