I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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