They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bring me that man meat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
