I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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