it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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