I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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