and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
