I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
