Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
