I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
