I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
