I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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