my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
