She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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