There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
