Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
