Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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