I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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