Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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