That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
