he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
