And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
