So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
