Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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