Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
