I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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