I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
