i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
