I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
