My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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