...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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