i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
