she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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